We all say silly things sometimes, but u/Known-Pop-8355 recently asked r/AskReddit, “What was your ‘I’m dating/married to an idiot’ moment?” Here are some of the funniest responses we found:
1. “We served in the US Peace Corps together in Uganda. One day, it was extremely sunny (like, ‘we lived within 50 miles of the equator’ sunny). She said, ‘The moon is going to be really bright tonight.’ Confused, I asked what she meant. She explained that since it was so sunny, the moon would absorb all the sunlight and shine brighter at night. We argued about it and eventually called her mother, who surprisingly confirmed her daughter’s theory.”
– u/Apuuli21
2. “The girl I was dating was making nachos and shredding cheese when she cut herself, getting blood on the cheese and shredder. As she went to get a Band-Aid, I started throwing the bloodied cheese away. She freaked out, saying I might now have AIDS. She was genuinely panicking, thinking I had just been exposed to AIDS and needed medical attention. After talking, I realized she thought AIDS was everywhere and any blood outside the body could magically get it. Her ignorance was oddly a relief that night.”
– u/EntertainmentOdd4935
3. “My partner was grumbling at the trash bin, saying, ‘We need new bin bags; these ones you bought don’t fit.’ Curious, I went over and saw he was holding a roll of small black dog poo bags, trying to fit one into the bin. There were actual bin bags available, but instead of realizing his mistake, he kept trying to use a dog poo bag for a bin 50 times bigger.”
– u/Pinapickle
4. “My now ex-husband genuinely believed that having a hysterectomy meant having your vagina removed. I discovered this when he asked how women who had a hysterectomy could pee. Further discussion revealed that he thought a hysterectomy resulted in a smooth, Barbie-like bump down there.”
– u/bestexeva
5. “He thought potatoes never go bad because his mom always kept a bag in the pantry. I asked if they ate a lot of potatoes, and he said yes. They had a large family with six kids, and it still didn’t click.”
– u/glightlysay
6. “I love my wife, but South Dakota is not north of North Dakota.”
– u/Ttot1025
7. “While we were moving, my ex-wife asked me who we needed to contact to change our email address. This isn’t a joke; it really happened when we moved to a new house in the same region of our state. We were both using Hotmail at the time, which made it even funnier to me.”
– u/smallboxofcrayons
8. “I dated a guy in college who visited me in my rural hometown and asked what the animals in the neighbor’s field were. I said ‘cows’ with a ‘you must be kidding me’ level of disbelief. He proceeded to tell me they can’t be cows because cows are black and white and these animals were all brown. I had to pull up Google to prove to him that brown cows existed. I could maybe understand if he’d been from a city, but he told me he was from a rural suburb. I guess he was just clueless.”
– u/AnericanSteel412
9. “My boyfriend refused to eat basil I had bought from the grocery store because it was a full plant. I was keeping it outside, and he insisted he wouldn’t eat ‘dirty’ food. I asked where he thought farmers kept produce, and he said they had ‘special areas’ for food to grow that were sterilized. My plant wasn’t ‘food grade.’ I just looked at him, dumbfounded. I didn’t know how to respond.”
– u/butteryvagina
10. “My husband was feeling unwell and began Googling his symptoms. After a while of silence, he suddenly turns to me in a panic and says, ‘I think I have pre-eclampsia!’”
– u/snow-ninja
11. “My wife went to the store to get cilantro for our tacos. She came home with parsley. Easy mistake, they look similar if you don’t look closely enough. I told her she bought parsley. She was convinced it was cilantro. I had her taste it. I showed her the tag on the bundle that said parsley. She reluctantly went back to the store to get cilantro… She came home with another bundle of parsley. I love this woman, but in that moment, I was questioning everything about her problem-solving skills. The good news is, she has never brought home parsley again.”
– u/brodeo23
12. “One day I was making butter chicken curry (which my ex loved) and in the middle of cooking, I realized I was out of yogurt. I sent him to the store to get some. He came back with blueberry-flavored yogurt…”
– u/FourCatsAndCounting
13. “My husband thought people whistled when they set off fireworks. He didn’t realize the fireworks themselves whistle. Though that was one of his more harmless misunderstandings.”
– u/Tinyfishy
14. “On a camping trip, she was worried about parking the car on the grass because she thought the grass would grow, puncturing and flattening the tires.”
– u/Shawnaldo7575
15. “My husband went into Dollar General for toilet paper. We had maybe $50 to last the week. This man came back with $40 of mango juice because it was on sale and no toilet paper. I drank the juice, but I was awfully salty about it.”
– u/TeamWaffleStomp
16. “My husband was convinced that bees and wasps are THE SAME THING, just at different times of the year. He thought bees grew up into wasps during the summer… I love him, but… HOW.”
– u/JobRich7841
17. “My high school boyfriend thought women got cramps from holding their menstrual flow, like you’d get cramps from holding urine. And that women just go to the bathroom and force it out, like poop. Pads and tampons? He thought they were just in case you can’t hold it.”
– u/Utter_cockwomble
What’s the most ridiculous thing a partner of yours has ever said? Share your hilarious stories with us in the comments below!
