Happy Valentine’s Day! How are you celebrating? Are you staying in, getting your buzz on? Are you cuddling up with the person you love? Or maybe you’re one of the few people who are courageous enough to leave the security of their own home on a day like today—a day when couples of all kinds swarm the restaurants of our cities and walk way too slowly on our sidewalks.
If you are brave enough to hit the streets today, be prepared to see the following six kinds of couples out in full force.
1. The PDA bandits
You almost have to hand it to the PDA bandits—they just don’t give a flying you-know-what about the rules of social decorum, which must be a pretty freeing way to live your life, you know?
2. The “we’re not getting along right now but it’s Valentine’s Day, so I guess we’re going to go out for dinner and be miserable” couple
Oh, man, these guys bring everyone down hard. You could cut the tension between them with knife, and it’s just so uncomfortable to witness.
3. The couple who just started dating
This couple is sometimes cute, but always super awkward. Navigating Valentine’s Day plans can be tough for any couple, but for a pair who just started dating? Disastrous. Word to the wise: wait until February 15th to start seeing someone new.
4. The Facebook oversharers
You don’t even have to leave your home to bump into these nutbars! If you dare to go on Facebook today, prepare yourself for the onslaught of posts like, “Happppppy Valentine’s DAY to the LOVE OF MY LIFE and my BEST FRIEND! I couldn’t live without you. Thanks for being my honey bunch sugar plum pumpy-umpy-umpkin (LOL, inside joke!).
Also, thanks for spoiling me today with a ridiculous number of presents that I am now going to photograph individually and post on Facebook for all to see and ogle! I am also going to post the inside of the card you bought me so everyone can read the extremely personal message you wrote! LOVE YOU.”
5. The “WE JUST GOT ENGAGED” couple
You’ll see this couple on the streets. You’ll see them in the restaurants. And if you’re in your mid-twenties, you’ll see them all over your Facebook homepage.
6. The cute couple
Try as you might, these are the guys you just can’t hate on. They’re harmless. And yeah, they’re pretty cute.
Cover image: Gfycat.com
