So you’re ready to be a hipster (or lumbersexual as many are calling it these days)? Well, you have got your work cut-out for you. You’re going to need some training, a new wardrobe, a beard, and some slicked back hipster’s hair. If you’re ready to adopt the manliest of manly styles, I offer these tips.
1) Learn to cut down a tree and change a tire. If you are going to talk the talk, then you have to learn to walk the walk. If you are going to walk around looking like a real man’s man, you got to learn how to be a man, and that means a willingness to get your hands dirty. And you’re also going to need to know about grease — the kind you lubricate the CV joins on your truck and the kind you put in your hair.
2) Go shopping. You’re going to need flannel. Lots of it. And jeans. These are the trademark of the hipster. The quintessential part of the hipster style is the lack of polish — jeans, flannel, leather boots, and sleeveless puffy jackets are essential.
Skip the mall and head straight for L.L. Bean.
3) Stop shaving now. If you’re going to go lumbersexual, a big beard is a must. This is where many will get a bit bogged down — some either don’t want to deal with growing a hipster beard and some, due to unfortunate genetics, can’t grow a big beard. The only way to find out is to simply stop shaving. And be patient — a big, burly beard can take months to grow. If you’ve never grown a beard, you’ll get some itching at first (I recommend Jack Black Nourishing Oil to help in this area). You’ll also need to keep the beard trimmed as it grows and shaped periodically by a professional barber. Maintaining your hipster beard is fairly easy — just shampoo and condition it regularly (you can use the same stuff you use on your head). You can add a little leave-in conditioner or beard oil for softness (which your significant other will appreciate). Yeah, going hipster doesn’t mean a total lack of grooming.
4) Grow out the top of your hair. I really love the hipster haircut, which is essentially an undercut haircut with a slicked-back top. Macklemore with a big beard. This haircut is essentially the modern version of a bowl cut with a longer top — the longer, the better. The hair is clipped aggressively short high up the sides and back (to what would normally be the part) and not blended into the top. The back and sides should be neatly tapered, in stark contrast with the big beard. Some guys are even taking sides and back completely to the skin. If you have a good eye, a hand mirror, and a steady hand, grab a pair of clippers and get to work — it is fairly easy to give yourself an undercut haircut at home if you’re going the skin-tight route. Once the deed is done, you’ll need plenty of pomades to slick back the style and keep it out of your face.
5) Hit the coffee shop. Now that you’ve learned your man stuff, picked up some new duds, grown a beard, and slicked back your coif, you’re ready to hit the town. Coffee shops and any place with a good craft beer selection are great places to start. There’s a coffee shop/craft beer bar a block away from me that’s perfect. You’ll also want to go organic and stick to spots that offer local produce. That’s not a bad thing at all, by the way!
As soon as I hit “send” on this article, I’ll be throwing on some flannel and heading out the door. Now, where did I put my beard?
