25 Annoying Things You’ll Only Understand If You Have Big Boobs

As I mentioned earlier in my post on bra tips and tricks, I have rather large breasts. This aspect of my body is just a fact of life. I grew up, and somewhere along the way my chest went from a semi-visible B cup to a size where I can’t squeeze past people on the subway. Even though I am totally fine with my chest these days, plenty of things happen on a regular basis that smaller-chested girls never have to think about. If you can relate, these 25 annoying things are a shout-out to you, along with a few survival tips I picked up along the way.

1. Having to hold your boobs as you walk down the stairs. Getting a high-impact encapsulating sports bra changes this completely.
2. Needing two sports bras when you work out. Stop doing this and get a proper underwired sports bra from a brand that uses UK cup sizing.
3. Because otherwise, they are in actual danger of whacking you in the chin during jumping jacks.
4. People assuming you are humblebragging when you mention having trouble fitting clothes over your chest. They do not realize a large bust makes a standard t-shirt drape like a tent.
5. Dropping food down them. The cleavage crumb catcher is a real hazard.
6. How annoying cross-strap bags are to wear. They slice right through the middle and make your chest look like two separate mountains.
7. The phrase “Anything more than a handful is a waste.” A totally useless phrase usually said by guys who do not know how bra sizing works.
8. Boob sweat. Bamboo bra liners or a swipe of antiperspirant under the wire are actual lifesavers in July.
9. Assumptions that you are trying to be provocative whenever you wear an outfit that shows even a slight bit of cleavage.
10. Getting dress-coded because of your body type, while smaller breasts get a free pass with the exact same outfits.
11. Never being able to wear strapless dresses without spending the entire night pulling the fabric back up.
12. Getting told by people to enjoy your big breasts now because later on they will be saggy.
13. That stupid gap between your upper buttons. Double-sided fashion tape is your best friend here.
14. Going to a lingerie store and seeing that all the small bras are cute while yours look like beige armor. You have to hunt down European brands like Freya or Elomi online for pretty options.
15. Using your boobs as a place to rest plates or wine glasses. Okay, this one is actually just awesome.
16. People asking outright if you have big nipples.
17. The fact that built-in bras are never actually bras for you. A tiny elastic shelf does absolutely nothing against gravity for a G cup.
18. Whenever people assume you like the attention you get from your breasts.
19. Friends grabbing at them because they think the size is a fun novelty.
20. The way cute baby doll dresses just make you look pregnant. The empire waist is a trap that drops straight down from the bust and hides your actual shape.
21. People asking you where you got your boobs done, assuming they can not be real.
22. How your chest gets a sunburn way before your face ever does.
23. Trying to squeeze by people at a crowded party without rubbing your chest against them. It is pretty much impossible.
24. People calling them weird fruit names like melons or jugs.
25. Finding out that fast-fashion brands think a size Large just means a wider band, not actual cup volume.